Ep. 185 - HOW TO BALANCE JOY AND FINANCE - MINDFUL HOLIDAY SPENDING

Marie-Jo Caesar discusses strategies for balancing joy and finances during the holiday season. She emphasizes how overspending impacts both financial and emotional health and offers practical advice on creating meaningful, cost-effective holiday traditions. Key concepts include understanding the joy-to-spending ratio, implementing the Money Time Matrix, and practicing mindful spending to prioritize experiences and connections over material purchases. 

*KEY TAKEAWAYS* 

⭐ Joy to Spending Ratio
Understanding the balance between genuine happiness from holiday activities and the investment required, both financially and temporally. This involves identifying what truly brings joy during the holidays and measuring the emotional return on holiday investments. 

⭐ Mindful Money Time Matrix
Emphasizing the importance of evaluating holiday activities based on both time and cost investments. The goal is to prioritize high joy and low-cost activities, ensuring a balanced and satisfying holiday experience without financial strain. 

⭐ Cultivating Financial Peace
Encouraging intentional and value-aligned spending to build resilience against commercial pressures. By making mindful, value-based decisions, listeners can honor their financial well-being, reduce stress, and create lasting, meaningful holiday memories. 

 
*KEY MOMENTS IN THIS EPISODE* 

00:00 Balancing Heart and Wallet During the Holidays 

01:07 Introduction to Financial Wellness Strategies 

02:05 Understanding Joy-to-Spending Ratio 

03:04 The Holiday Happiness Gap 

05:04 Emotional Return on Investment (EROI) 

06:47 Joy-Based Decision Making 

10:01 The Money Time Matrix 

11:30 Personalized Gifts vs. Store-Bought Items 

12:49 Managing Holiday Burnout 

14:40 Creating Lasting Traditions 

17:36 Aligning Celebrations with Personal Values 

27:11 Resisting Commercial Pressure 

32:04 Mindful Money Time Matrix Workbook 

Chapters

• 0:09 Introduction: Heart vs. Wallet
• 3:04 The Holiday Happiness Gap
• 5:04 Emotional Return on Investment (EROI)
• 6:47 Joy-Based Decision Making
• 10:01 The Money Time Matrix
• 14:40 Creating Lasting Traditions
• 19:53 Emotional Spending Triggers
• 30:26 Recap and Key Takeaways

Transcript

Ep. 185 - HOW TO BALANCE JOY AND FINANCE - MINDFUL HOLIDAY SPENDING

The holiday season can be one long battle between your heart and your wallet. But today, we are learning how to make the season rich in meaning, not how much you spend. You know, that feeling when your heart wants to give everything during the holidays, but your bank account is screaming, stop. Well, you're not alone. Would you believe that 40 % of Americans feel pressured to spend more than they can afford during the holiday season? And. Here is something that really breaks my heart. 22 % are still paying off last year's holiday debt. The reality is that stress from holiday spending affects not just our bank accounts But also our emotional health. Before going any further, let me introduce myself. I am Marie-Jo Caesar your financial wellness strategist, and I help you take control of your money from your inside. In today's episode of the Merging Life and Money Show, we will go through some practical strategies to help you balance joy and finances during the holiday season. 

Welcome 

Author Vicky Robin, in her bestseller, Your Money or Your Life, writes that "Money is something we choose to trade our life energy for". Let that sink in for a moment; such a profound perspective frames today's discussion about making conscious choices. That acknowledges both our financial health and our desire to experience holiday joy. What if understanding your joy-to-spending ratio could transform your holiday experience? Well, join me as we unveil how to enjoy the festivities without the hangover of debt, how to think differently in order to give great gifts, and how to create family traditions. We've increased rather than diminished value. Let me share something interesting about the holidays that might surprise you. Most of us feel intense pressure to spend more than we want during the holiday season. It is a nagging feeling that we need to buy bigger gifts or throw more elaborate parties than our budget or our heart really wants. What's really interesting, though, is that research consistently shows that the things that truly make us happy during the holidays often cost very little or nothing at all. 

The holiday happiness gap is that disconnect between what society tells us will make us happy and what actually brings us joy. Think of it like having two different compasses trying to guide you through the holiday season. There's a societal compass pointing to expensive gifts and over-the-top celebrations. And then there is your personal joint compass, often leading you to simpler, more authentic experiences. When people learn to follow their inner compass, what I call the happiness triggers, something remarkable happens. They typically end up spending far less while enjoying the holidays much more.

But here's what truly brings a smile to my face. Families who focus on these genuine happiness triggers report significantly higher holiday satisfaction than those who simply follow the crowd. So, what creates real, lasting holiday happiness? Well, the psychology is fascinating. It's usually found in shared experiences that create lasting memories, family traditions that strengthen our bonds, simple acts of kindness that touch others, quiet moments of reflection, and those small everyday moments that align with our personal values. Take a moment to reflect on your own past celebrations. Which moments brought genuine smiles? Which activities created memories that still make you warm inside? Often, these moments cost very little but mean everything. 

This brings me to an interesting concept I'd love to share with you: the emotional return on investment, or EROI.

Just as we measure financial returns on investments, we can measure the emotional returns of our holiday activities. However, unlike money, these emotional returns often grow over time. Let me give you a concrete example: A family afternoon spent baking cookies together, which costs maybe $50 in ingredients, typically brings more joy or creates stronger memories than a $200 solo shopping trip.

Why? Because activities that combine social connection with personal meaning tend to generate significantly more satisfaction than individual experiences or material purchases.

The science behind this is quite interesting. Research shows an intriguing difference between pleasure and joy in our brains. Think of pleasure as a spark, bright and exciting but quick to fade. Joy, on the other hand, is more like a slow-burning flame that builds over time. A trendy gift might generate immediate excitement but often loses its appeal within weeks. In contrast, investing in family traditions, like an annual holiday movie night with special treats and matching pajamas, creates anticipation, enjoyment, and memories that become more precious with each passing year.

This understanding led me to develop what I call joy-based decision-making. Think of it as your holiday spending GPS, helping you navigate choices to maximize joy while minimizing financial strain. It's about taking a moment, what psychologists call a decision pause, before making holiday purchases or commitments.

During this pause, ask yourself a few simple questions: Will this purchase or activity still matter in January, next summer, or years from now? Does it align with what truly makes me and my loved ones happy? If spent differently, could this money create more meaningful experiences? 

What is particularly interesting is that when people use this kind of thoughtful approach to holiday decisions, they report not just higher satisfaction with their choices but also less stress and stronger family bonds. They tend to feel more confident in their decisions and experience significantly less post-holiday regret. 

The key to a more fulfilling holiday season is not about spending more or less. It's about investing wisely in experiences and traditions that create lasting happiness for you and your loved ones. It's about understanding that while both pleasure and joy have their place in your celebrations, it's the deeper, more meaningful experiences that truly enrich your lives. 

Remember, at the end of the day, the most precious holiday memories rarely come with a big price tag. They come from those moments of connection, shared laughter, and traditions that grow more meaningful with each passing year. By understanding and applying these principles, you can create holiday celebrations that are not just easier on your wallets but richer in what truly matters—joy, connection, and meaningful memories that last a lifetime.

So, as you plan your holiday season, I encourage you to listen to your personal joy compass, take decision pauses, and consider the emotional return on your investment. When we align our holiday spending with what truly brings us joy, we create celebrations that are not just memorable but also meaningful.

The relationship between time, money, and joy forms a complex matrix that requires careful consideration.

To better understand this delicate balance between time and financial investment, let's explore a powerful tool: the money-time matrix, which consists of four key quadrants.

One. High-time, low-cost activities like family games nights, baking sessions, or crafting decorations.

Two. Low-time, low-cost activities like morning coffee rituals, shared story reading, or brief family walks. 

Three. High-time, high-cost activities like elaborate parties or extended family vacations. 

And four. Low-time, high-cost activities like expensive gifts or professional decorating services. 

Studies consistently show that activities in the first quadrant, high time, high investment with low financial costs, generate the highest satisfaction levels. This makes intuitive sense when we consider our own cherished holiday memories, which often center around time spent together rather than expensive gifts or elaborate parties. 

Building on these insights about the value of time investment, let's explore how we can strategically maximize holiday joy without maxing out our credit cards.

Consider the case of personalized gifts versus store-bought items. While traditional shopping requires less time and more money, creating personalized items like photo albums demands more time and less financial investment. The value of such handcrafted items extends beyond gifts to holiday decorations, food preparation, and other seasonal activities.

Let me share Michael's story, which perfectly illustrates this principle. Michael used to spend over $500 annually on store-bought decorations, feeling pressured to create the perfect holiday atmosphere. One year, facing financial constraints, he instead hosted a family decoration-making day that cost under a hundred dollars in materials. The switch transformed their holiday experience. Not only did they save money, but the family bonding and creativity that emerged From this activity made it their most memorable holiday tradition. And as Michael noted, we stopped trying to buy the perfect Christmas and started creating our own. 

So, while these high-joy, low-cost activities offer tremendous value, their success depends heavily on your ability to maintain the energy needed to fully engage in them.

Many people experience holiday burnout from managing too many activities without proper energy management. This burnout often leads to increased spending as people try to compensate for reduced energy with expensive shortcuts or stress-based purchases. To address this, consider the energy rule of three. Schedule a maximum of three significant activities weekly. Include three daily micro breaks like, five to 10 minutes each, and plan three monthly recovery days.

Here's an example. The Martinez family's story demonstrates the power of mindful energy management. Maria Martinez noticed her family's holiday enthusiasm would typically wane by mid-December, leading to last-minute expensive purchases to save the holiday spirit. They transformed their approach by creating a skills and stories exchange, spreading family activities throughout the season. Each weekend, one family member teaches something they excel at, from grandmother's tamales-making lessons to the teenagers' tech tutorial. This tradition costs nothing but time and has transformed their holiday experience from a draining sprint to an energizing marathon of shared learning and connection. With proper energy management in place, you can focus on establishing traditions that stand the test of time.

Successful holiday traditions typically share three key characteristics. 

One, they are simple enough for the youngest to participate in. 

Two, they are meaningful enough for adults to enjoy. 

And three, they are sustainable enough to pass down through generations.

The key to creating lasting traditions is understanding that they don't need to be elaborate or expensive. Simple activities like sharing family stories while making hot chocolate or taking evening walks to look at neighborhood lights can become cherished traditions that grow more meaningful each year. 

To transform these insights into action, consider this comprehensive approach. 

One. Evaluate current holiday activities across all quadrants of the money time Matrix.

Two. Identify opportunities to shift from high cost to high time investment. 

Three. Create intentional pauses before adding new commitments. 

Four. Consider the long-term emotional return on both time and financial investment. 

Five. Maintain a balance between traditional and new experiences. 

Six. Focus on activities that strengthen social connection.

And seven. Plan for adequate rest and recovery between events. The journey to maximizing holiday joy reveals a fundamental truth. While both time and money are finite resources, they don't hold equal value in creating meaningful experiences. By focusing on high-time, low-cost activities, managing energy effectively, and building sustainable traditions, families can create lasting holiday memories while maintaining financial peace and emotional well-being.

The most successful holiday celebrations are not measured by dollars spent but by the depth of connections formed and the quality of memories created. Remember, these insights are not about following a strict formula. They are about finding what works for your family and creating traditions that bring genuine joy to your celebrations.

Now, let's understand how to cultivate this financial peace through intentional choices. Creating truly meaningful holiday celebrations is a lot like being an architect. Just as an architect carefully designs each element of a building, you need to thoughtfully plan your celebrations to reflect what matters most to you.

Let me share something interesting. When your holiday celebrations align with your personal values, they become much more satisfying than when you follow what society expects of you. Let's talk about what I call our celebration values. These are the core principles that really matter to you during the holidays. They include connecting with loved ones, expressing generosity, honoring tradition, embracing spirituality, and expressing creativity. 

Here's what's fascinating. While most of us can easily name our top three holiday values, very few of us actually plan our celebrations around them. Think about that for a moment. We know what matters to us, but somehow, we often end up doing things that don't really reflect those values. So, how do we bridge this gap? I've developed a simple three-step approach. 

First, take some time to identify what truly matters to you during the holidays. 

Second, look at your current holiday activities and ask yourself honestly if they align with these values.

And third, this is where the magic happens. Adjust your time and money investments to support what matters most. When people align their holiday spending with their personal values, something remarkable happens. They experience significantly less financial stress and report much higher satisfaction with their celebrations. It's like finally having our internal compass pointing true North. But let's be honest, even with the best planning, we all face those emotional spending triggers during the holidays. It feels like a complex dance between our money and our emotions. 

Research shows that the vast majority of our holiday purchases are driven by emotional triggers rather than actual needs. Think of these triggers as holiday sirens singing beautiful songs about perfect celebrations and ideal gifts. What makes this particularly challenging is holiday marketing. We are bombarded with messages designed to tap into our emotional vulnerabilities. These ads are like skilled puppeteers pulling at our heartstrings to influence our spending decisions.

So, how do we protect ourselves? One strategy I found incredibly effective is a 24-hour pause. Before making any non-essential purchase, give yourself a day to think it over. This simple cooling-off period allows your logical brain to catch up with your emotional reactions. It is amazing how often we realize we don't really need something after taking this pause.

Let's discuss some common emotional triggers we all face during the holidays: the fear of disappointing our loved ones, nostalgic memories of childhood celebrations, the comparison trap of social media, marketing messages that create artificial scarcity, and our desire to compensate for limited family time with expensive gifts.

I find it helpful to create what I call pause points to determine the moment of reflection before making purchase decisions. Think of these as your personal spending checkpoints. When you use this pause point consistently, you are much less likely to experience financial regret after the holidays.

Here is a practical way to implement this. I call it the three R's. Reflect on how the purchase aligns with your values, review your budget and financial goals, and reconsider if there might be alternative ways to achieve the same emotional outcome. 

What is particularly powerful is taking just a few minutes before entering any shopping environment. Whether it's a mall or an online store, even two minutes of reflection can significantly reduce unnecessary purchases. Try taking three deep breaths before clicking that buy now button, or write down what you want to buy and revisit it later. 

When we shift our focus from spending to significance, something beautiful happens in how we experience a holiday season. People who approach their holiday shopping mindfully report much greater satisfaction with their experiences than those focused purely on material purchases. It's about creating what I call memory wealth, a collection of meaningful moments that actually grow more valuable over time. 

Now, let me share something practical that you can start implementing right away. I've created the Mindful Money Time Matrix, a simple but powerful tool for evaluating and optimizing holiday activities. Think of it as your personal guide for holiday planning.

The Matrix helps you map out your activities across four key areas. The high-time, high-cost activities like elaborate family vacations; the low-time, high-cost activities like expensive gifts; the high-time, low-cost activities like family game nights; and the low-time, low-cost activities like morning coffee ritual with loved ones.

What is surprising is that when families use this matrix to plan their holidays, they often discover they've been investing the most money in activities that actually bring them the least lasting joy. It is like having a light bulb moment. Suddenly, you see where your time and money are really going and, more importantly, where they could be going instead. 

Let me give you a real-world example. The family I worked with discovered they were spending most of their holiday budget on elaborate decorations and expensive gifts. But their most cherished memories came from their Sunday evening storytelling sessions, where they shared family history over hot chocolate. This simple activity cost almost nothing but created the deepest connections and most lasting memories. 

This brings me to an important point about holiday traditions. The best ones often start small and simple but grow richer and more meaningful over time. Like a good investment, they appreciate in value.

A simple tradition like making holiday cookies together might seem basic, but year after year, it becomes layered with shared jokes, evolving recipes, and growing memories. I will also add that digital technology has changed how we celebrate holidays, and that is worth discussing. 

While social media can create pressure to craft picture-perfect celebrations, it can also help us connect in meaningful ways without spending a lot.

Video calls with distant family members, digital photo albums of past celebrations, or even starting an online family storytelling tradition are all ways to create connections without significant cost.

 Remember, the goal is not to spend as little as possible but to spend intentionally on what truly matters to you and your family. Sometimes, that might mean investing in a big family trip. Other times, it might mean scaling back to focus on simple, meaningful activities at home. 

The key is to make these decisions consciously, not reactively. When we are reactive, we often end up following others' expectations or falling into old patterns that don't serve us well. But when we are conscious about our choices, we can create celebrations that feel authentic and meaningful to us. 

Let's turn our focus on building resilience against commercial pressure. In today's world, we are exposed to thousands of holiday advertisements each season. 

These ads are specifically designed to trigger emotional responses that override our rational decision-making.

But here's the good news: Just as your body builds immunity to infections, you can develop mental strategies to resist persuasive marketing tactics. I encourage people to create a value shield, a clear statement of their holiday priorities that serves as a filter for commercial messages. When faced with marketing pressure, this shield helps them stay focused on what truly matters to them and their loved ones.

As Maya Angelou beautifully said, " People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." This perfectly captures the essence of mindful holiday spending. Remember, your mindful holiday spending journey is not about restriction. It's about liberation—liberation from commercial pressure, comparison, and the myth that joy comes with a price tag. 

When we approach our holiday celebrations with intention and mindfulness, we create experiences that honor both our financial well-being and our heart desires. I've found that people who practice these mindful spending approaches typically experience less financial stress in the new year. They also report much higher satisfaction with their celebrations. 

Remember, it's about creating traditions and memories that appreciate in value over time rather than accumulating things that depreciate the moment we acquire them. 

This is about how we think about and experience the holiday season. It's about making conscious choices that reflect our values and create lasting memories. When we do this, we are not just managing our money better. We are creating celebrations that truly matter. The ones that bring us genuine joy and connection.

So, by focusing on what truly brings us joy, being mindful of our emotional triggers, and staying true to our values. We can create holiday celebrations that feel authentic, meaningful, and financially sustainable. After all, the most precious holiday memories rarely come with a big price tag. They come from the moments, the connections, shared laughter, and traditions that grow more meaningful with each passing year.

Let me say that you are not alone in this journey. Together, we can create celebrations that honor our financial well-being and our desire for meaningful connections. Let's make this holiday season one that truly reflects what matters most to us. 

Let's wrap it up and recap what we addressed today.

We explored three fundamental aspects of creating meaningful holiday celebrations. We began by examining the joy-to-spending ratio, learning how to identify authentic happiness triggers, and measuring the emotional return on holiday investment. This understanding helps distinguish between fleeting pleasures and lasting joy.

We then discovered the power of the mindful money-time Matrix, a practical tool for balancing our time and financial investments. Through this lens, we learned how to prioritize high-joy, low-cost activities and create sustainable celebration patterns that grow more meaningful with time. 

Lastly, we explored how to cultivate financial peace through intentional choices, from developing a value-aligned approach to building resilience against commercial pressure. 

We uncovered strategies for making conscious decisions that honor both our financial well-being and our desire for meaningful celebrations. The research is clear. Individuals who practice mindful holiday spending report 73 % higher satisfaction with their celebrations and experience 68 % less financial stress in the new year. Your mindful holiday spending journey deserves a practical tool to guide you. Therefore, I have created the Mindful Money Time Matrix Workbook. This practical resource includes worksheets for mapping your activities across the four quadrants we discussed today, plus bonus templates for tracking emotional returns on your holiday investment.

 To download your free copy of the Mindful Money Time Matrix Workbook, go to my website, mariejocaesar. com. This valuable tool includes a detailed framework for evaluating holiday activities, templates for tracking emotional and financial investment, practical exercises for building commercial resilience, and bonus strategies for creating and appreciating traditions. 

Share your mindful spending journey with our growing community. Post one way you are prioritizing joy over spending this season. And use the #mindfulholidayjoy on your favorite social media platform. Your experience might inspire others to make similar positive changes.

In the next episode, we will explore innovative digital gifting strategies that can help you maintain connection while managing costs. You will not want to miss these creative approaches to modern gift-giving that preserve both your budget and your relationships. Thank you for being part of our growing community of Mindful Money Managers.

I am your host, Marie-Jo Caesar. I will be back again next week. Until then, continue merging life and money. Bye for now.